Escaping this feeling must be impossible.
For it haunts and stalks like a crazed killer.
Taunting me with its mystical power to invoke, distort and eliminate all other feeling in my body.
This feeling, numbing in nature, hurls my sense of security and invades my hope. It laughs at me.
Lonely.
And as lonely as one could possibly get.
Yearning for a lover, distorted by mist and fog.
How the days seems so long and grow more tiresome everyday i spend away from you.
And there is this feeling. I try to chase it away but he only laughs. And invokes my past and makes me feel every inadequacy again and again.
Tanting and taunting it makes my mind dance of demons who tale tales of what could of been.
Yes i am lonely.
And the demons are no help.
They creep and never sleep, awaiting the moment that i let them in.
And i let them in.
Crazy it seems, at the time that they’ll ease the pain of this distance.
But they only use me up from the inside out and make me feel the true emptiness. They slide around my internal conception of what i am. They disfigure my self image and attempt to drown who i once hoped to be.
So yes i am lonely.
And the only thing that keeps me is the promise of time and the notion that i’m not alone in my loniless. I heard to be alive is to be lonly. So i sit and wait for the day that you return and we’ll be one. My only hope is to cope and realize that this feeling comes from within, so so must the cure.
Month: October 2014
Don’t get to close
Don’t Get to close
Don’t get to close or you might get burned by this fire that’s burning deep inside that was kindled within me. This fire is hotter than the hottest place you can think of yes I’m talking about H-E double hockey sticks if u look deep into my cornea you’ll almost see this inferno take a look into the flame you’ll see me banging on the window of my eyeball trying to escape this solitary that I placed myself in.
How can one be imprisoned in his own mind? As if the chains and shackles of shame and insecurities were self placed. Don’t judge a book by the cover if u don’t know the story you Illiterate piece of shhh I hold my tongue you done got me mad the war has begun ! I’m loading up the ammo of isolation, putting on my boots of revenge…
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wlgtd
There’s a theory out there that a man knows only what he is taught. So a man having no knowledge of how to truly love can never do it right. But that’s all foolery, if you ask me. And it’s apart of the misconception. That there is a correct way to love. Yes there is a correct way to have meaningful and mutually respectful relationships, but there is no correct way to love one another. For love expands and contracts on its own accord. Love by itself is pure enough to self correct. But what kills love are other emotions that we may feel. That certain feeling of selfishness often drowns love. It makes it hard for love to breath and pollutes the air that resides between two loves. Pride is strong enough to kill love. It’s clever and quick enough to out run it. See love can at times be lathargical, and slow to move when tested against pride. And worst of all, insecurity seems to reject love. At least mines did. It pushed love away so that it would not be exposed for its fancy of what laid externally over what grazed the insides in a way that can be duplicated by noone. But once more love has a calming way about it. See insecurity and pride and selfishness are fueled by fear: Fear of inadequacy. But love is not disguised. It is raw and it is butt naked. It is exposed.
Paradise. 